Pitfalls and Solutions (conclusion)

What’s too easy, some say, is calling something a communication problem when there’s a lot more to it. Claudia Mattheiss had a boss who always told her to “never hold back” whatever she thought and felt – until she communicated what she thought and felt.

Her boss had asked her to find out why people were so fearful. The more she talked to people, the more she learned that her manager, unapproachable and vengeful, was scaring the daylights out of everyone. Gingerly, Ms. Mattheiss explained just that.

“She almost fired me,” recalls Ms. Mattheiss. “She said I’m totally overstepping my bounds.” Their relationship never recovered.

“There’s such a thing as talking to the wall. There is also such a thing as talking something to death,” she says. “It’s sometimes better to do instead of talking about doing.”
       copyright Wall Street Journal 2007  

Rod's commentary:
Yes, it's true, the basic tools of communication will often not get the job done in difficult or complex interpersonal dynamics. We all have a horror story or two about that.

Of utmost importance in being an effective communicator is the ability to evaluate the context accurately and conduct yourself accordingly. This includes finding ways to measure trust and rapport and to gauge the authenticity of someone you are dealing with. Because an individual responded one way in one situation does not mean they will do so in the next. To evaluate these dynamics effectively, you must refine your ability to make your communication listener centered. That is a skill I am very interested in improving in my own communications and one that I place great emphasis on as a coach.